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[ Watch The Birdie (Page 7) ]
“Week six, then.”
Yeah.
“Old friends coming to town.”
Surely.
“The Baltimore Goths.”
Indeed.
“Remember what their linebackers used to do to you back in the AFC North?”
Trying hard to forget, truth be told.
“Well, the good news is that Ed Hartwell, the second middle backer in their
3-4 scheme, is out with a broken hand. The bad news is that Ray Lewis and Peter
Boulware aren’t. The D-line, by contrast, is nothing special – its job, as ever,
is to just keep blockers off those linebackers. The Baltimore secondary matches
up nicely against your receivers…”
Nicely good news, or nicely bad news?
“Nicely bad news, natch, so it’s tough to see where your yardage is going to
be coming from. On the other hand, Kyle Boller is suffering growing pains
leading an offence that’s only the 26th best in the NFL this season. It’s not
entirely his fault, though - Todd Heap aside his receiving corps is very, very
ordinary. Not that he’ll have to pass, of course, because the fans might have to
take lessons in differential calculus to keep track of how many yards you’re
going to give up on the ground this week, with Jamal Lewis running behind a
first-class line. They’re not invulnerable, though - they’re very much
run-blocking specialists, and there’s a steady decline in quality the further
you get from left tackle Jonathon Ogden. If I were you, I’d have all eleven
defenders stacked up on the left side of their line. One of them’s bound be able
to tackle Lewis eventually…”
You think?
"No, not really."
-
Defending our 100% home record – two games, two losses – looks like it’s going
to be a snap against a useful Ravens outfit with a 3-1 record thus far.
Amazingly, despite the humiliations we’ve put them through thus far this season,
there don’t seem to be any fewer fans in attendance this week, and to reward
them for turning out in the positively frigid-by-Arizona-standards 68 degree
weather we come out in a very attractive all-red alternative strip which looks a
lot like Seattle’s new uniforms, but funkier.
We lose the toss, and the Goths decide to take the ball first. We elect to
defend the end that’ll give us the wind in the 4th - which assumes, of course,
that the game’s not a complete lost cause by then. Well, I can dream.
We start well, though, Heap dropping a pass on 3rd-and-bugger-all to force
Baltimore to punt away, then Terry Fair snakes past a potential tackler and
eventually ends up nudged out of bounds after a 40-yard punt return, setting us
up a smidgeon inside Raven territory. The defence comes with a zone rush, their
ends dropping back into coverage as linebackers fly toward the ball from all
over, but Jeff Blake does a good job of seeing trouble coming and getting the
ball out of there toward his favourite target, Bryant Johnson, who slices
through the Raven secondary for a huge gain. Chris McAllister finally gets back
to drag him down at the 15, but it’s just delaying the inevitable. Marcel Shipp
puts his head down twice to give us 1st-and-goal at point-blank range, then
follows his fullback off the weakside tackle for the opening score – BAL 0-7 ARI
We’re stacking the line to try and contain Jamal Lewis, as we have to if we’re
going to have a hope in hell of winning this, but of course that leaves us
vulnerable through the air, Boller picking up 20 yards to backup tight end Terry
Jones - presumably not the one who played Mrs. Cohen in Life Of Brian, although
it’s a nice thought. There are actually three TE’s called Jones in this game –
Terry, Freddie and Goths 3rd-stringer John. Admittedly, Jones isn’t the least
common name in the world, it’d be more noteworthy if there were three tight ends
all called Fimbimtimbimwimbimbusstop-F’tangf’tangolébiscuitbarrel or something,
but it’s odd all the same. But I digress. Now, where was I? Oh, the Ravens’
drive. That ended ages ago, a 24-yard screen to Lewis levelling the scores.
Sigh. BAL 7-7 ARI
Okay, okay, so we can’t so much as slow down one of the worst offences in the
league, let’s not panic. After all, we’ve always got our passing attack to lean
on, don’t we? Well, don’t we? Three plays, three sacks – two to left end Anthony
Weaver, coming straight through the gap that would normally be filled by injured
right tackle Tony Clement, 2 points to Baltimore, and our dangerous-at-both-ends
offence strikes again. BAL 9-7 ARI
And we have to free-kick back to the opposition following the safety, giving the
Ravens good field position and a chance to really put us in a deep hole but they
can’t capitalise, managing only 1 first down and having to punt back to us –
it’s a good one, though, sailing out of bounds inside our 5. Marcel gives us a
bit of breathing space, then Blake, mindful of the whole three-sacks-in-a-row
thing, drops back and gets rid of the ball so quickly you’d have thought it was
ticking. Johnno hangs on to the rocket at our 20, and we’re on our way. A couple
more runs and Anquan Boldin’s first two grabs of the afternoon take us into
Raven territory and end the first quarter. It suddenly occurs that it’s been a
little while since we did anything mind-blowingly stupid, so we correct that
oversight by trying to drift a pass to Marcel Shipp in the flat with Baltimore
safety Gary Baxter in attendance. 65 yards later, and the Goth defence has
outscored the Cardinal offence. BAL 16-7 ARI
Back we come, though, grinding out a 14-play drive that sees us poised at the
Baltimore 21 with five minutes left in the second quarter. We’ve run eight times
in the possession, which means that when the play-action comes Baltimore fall
for it hook, line, sinker, waders, silly hat and bucketful of maggots. Freddie
Jones takes a lick, but hangs on for a 20-yard gain that sets up
Blake-to-Johnson for 1 yard with every Raven once again looking for the pound up
the middle. Heh heh. BAL 16-14 ARI
It’s about time we gave up a huge running play, so we allow Jamal Lewis to spin
away from the blitz and race 47 yards untouched to the endzone. You know. Just
to make things that little bit more interesting. BAL 23-14 ARI
We get the ball back with 2:22 left in the half, but can do precisely buggerall
with it, going 3 and out and punting. The Ravens only have a minute left to play
with, but a minute is more than enough for our defence to step up and make a
difference – the punt return comes all the way back to our 35, and two plays
later Adrian Wilson completely loses track of Frank Sanders deep, then misses
his saving tackle, and the 29-yard reception makes the halftime score BAL 30-14
ARI
Taking the wind for the 4th quarter is starting to look like a damned shrewd
tactical ploy, no?
Things don’t improve in a hurry after the restart, either, the Goths coming out
energised and quickly getting us to an Official Down And Distance Of The Arizona
Cardinals situation (or ODADOTACS, as it shall henceforth be known) deep in our
own half. But they get too greedy and outsmart themselves, Chris McAllister
coming on a cornerback blitz that leaves Anquan Boldin in the clear to take a
short hook, spin past the safety who’s desperately trying to get across and take
off down the sideline, the defence finally shoving him out of bounds at the
Baltimore 20, a gain of 53.
Suddenly the crowd, silent for almost the entire
second quarter, are back into it and Bryan Gilmore’s first catch of the day sets
us up with 1st down at the Goth 5. It takes three goes, but Shipp eventually
bludgeons his way in and we’re back in sight – BAL 30-21 ARI
It’s the old familiar story, though, we just keep missing tackles and keep
letting the runner move the sticks. I lose count of how many players Jamal Lewis
goes through on his way to the halfway line for a 23-yard gain, then Boller uses
that devilishly effective play-action to help him find ex-Bear Marcus Robinson
for 30 yards, and any hint of momentum we might have gathered seems to have
drained away as FB Howard Morrow catches-and-runs to give Baltimore 2nd and 1 at
our 11. But back comes the defence – not a phrase you’ll hear much in Arizona
this year – with a sack and a pass batted out of Todd Heap’s hands which had
“touchdown” written all over it, and we hold them to just a short Matt Stover
field goal – BAL 33-21 ARI
Momentum’s a fragile thing, though, and an incompletion on 3rd down leaves us in
a tricky spot – 4th and 5 on the Baltimore 33. Right on the edge of Bill
Gramatica’s range, and the field goal would still leave us down by two scores
with only about three minutes left in the third quarter – plus, of course, if he
misses, that hands the Goths very nice field-position. This is what they call
gut-check time, I think. And it’s a gutsy call – Blake play-fakes to Emmitt
Smith, turns as the rush bears down and fires deep to Bryant Johnson posting in
behind the wrongfooted safeties – Johnno stretches… and makes the grab!
Balls of steel, my friend. Balls of steel.
29 yards, 1st and goal at the 4, and lawks-a-lordy if the fans aren’t believers
now. The call comes in from the sideline – as many runs up the gut as it takes
to score, use all four downs if we need them. We only need three, Shipp
stretching out to break the plane of the goal-line – just – and as time expires
in the third it’s back to a one-score game, BAL 33-28 ARI
Brian Billick is plainly trying to grind the clock, and Jamal Lewis is still
hurting us. He follows an 11-yard gain with two 4-yarders, and once again it’s
crunch time, 3rd and 2 at the Raven 44. We gamble massively, coming out in the
goal-line set and praying that the Baltimore wideouts really are as ordinary as
we think they are. The crowd are making as much noise as they know how, and with
nine defenders crowding the line of scrimmage surely Boller will audible into a
pass, surely he will… he doesn’t, Raynoch Thompson fires through the line to
knock Lewis down for a 1-yard loss and the next play is a punt that bounces
through the endzone for a touchback. 9 minutes left, and we’re still alive.
Barely.
After a slow start to the game, Anquan Boldin seems to have the measure of Chris
McAllister now and roasts the corner to the tune of 25 yards on first down.
Marcel’s got his second wind, too, smashes through arm-tackles to get us another
first and suddenly there’s a real sense of expectation around the stadium, a
real sense that maybe, maybe we can actually pull this one out… Which lasts
roughly ‘till Jeff Blake looks for Johnno on a quick-out, finds Corey Fuller
instead for his third interception on the day and can only watch as the
cornerback races past him back to our 30 before Johnson can scramble back and
get him from behind. The very next play Boller threads a pass through three
defenders to Marcus Robinson for 29 yards, and from the 1 there’s never going to
be any stopping Jamal Lewis. It’s very quiet in here all of a sudden. BAL 40-28
ARI
We seem to have discovered something in ourselves today, though, something that
was profoundly lacking in our shameful capitulations against Green Bay and
Dallas. I’m not sure what it is, but it smells like team spirit – 8 plays, 75
yards, slot receiver Bryan Gilmore accounting for 53 of them but the most
significant is the last one, Emmitt Smith taking a swing-pass on 4th down and
diving into the endzone to get us right back into the game with 3:27 still to
play. Suddenly we’re playing like a team who doesn’t know when they’re beaten,
which is odd, because we’ve had plenty of opportunities to find out – BAL 40-35
ARI
Decision time – onside, or kick deep? We’ve still three timeouts left, and our
run defence has seemed rejuvenated by the roar of the crowd in the last couple
of possessions, but as against that we can only afford to allow Baltimore one
first down, tops… It’s a gamble either way, and I’m not prepared to hand the
momentum back to the Goths by allowing them to recover an onside, so we elect to
kick away and pin them in their own half. It doesn’t look a great decision as
Lewis picks up 9 on the first snap, then 2 more to easily convert… 2:38 left –
the bottom line is stop them now, or not at all, and we’ll need all the time we
can get, so we gamble again and burn our first timeout. Once more, we sell out
against the run, putting faith in Tay Cody and Dave Barrett that they can cover
their receivers without any assistance should Billick opt for the pass… he
doesn’t on first down, Lewis up the middle for no gain - second timeout, 2:35 to
play. He doesn’t on second down, Lewis up the middle for a single yard – final
timeout, 2:33 to play. Third and nine at the Raven 35… and it’s Lewis again,
trying the outside but cut down by David Barrett well shy of the first, and good
God almighty, we’re going to get another crack at this! The clock ticks down to
the 2-minute warning, and the Ravens are forced to punt.
The kick’s decent, Terry Fair making the catch at our 18 under pressure, then
eluding a tackler and squirming to the 30. 1:51 to play, then, no timeouts and
70 yards to go. Bryant Johnson finds a little crease on 1st down, but Blake’s
too eager and hurries his throw off the back foot, sailing it well over Johnno’s
head. No such mistake finding Boldin on 2nd, but the Raven cover is right there
and restricts the explosive wideout to just a short gain – 3rd and 3 at the 37.
Faced with good coverage, Blake tries to squeeze the ball into Freddie Jones,
but the pass is a fraction behind the big tight-end and though he gets his hands
to it, he can’t hang on, leaving us with 4th and short, do or die. No messing –
three step drop, steps up, bullet to Johnson... and Corey Fuller steps in for
his second pick of the day, finally driving the stake through our heart with a
45-yard TD return.
Oh, so this is when we’re beaten? Okay. I’ll keep that in mind for future
reference.
Jeff Blake’s racked up nearly 400 yards and a brace of scores on the day, but
has managed only a 50% completion ratio and thrown 4 interceptions including the
one that iced the game. Having taken five weeks to have a 100-yard receiving
day, we’ve managed two in the same game – Boldin with eight grabs for 134 yards,
and Johnno with nine for 156 and a TD. Marcel Shipp faded after a good start,
but still carried 30 times and scored three touchdowns, if for only 68 yards.
Anyone who’s got him in a fantasy league will be well chuffed, at least.
I dunno. It’s a bad loss, a tough loss after coming back so well and getting so
close, but it feels a little bit like a turning-point, like we’ve achieved
something that’s above and beyond what the final score might happen to have
been. We’ll see, anyway. We’ve the bye-week to think it over. Final score, then,
BAL 47-35 ARI
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(c) daniel
roe 2004
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